LGBTQ Student Resource Guide
PFLAG realizes its vision through support for families, allies, and people who are LGBTQ;
education for ourselves and others about the unique issues and challenges facing people who are LGBTQ and advocacy in our communities to change attitudes and to create policies and laws that achieve full equality for people who are LGBTQ.
IMPORTANT: If a student mentions suicide or displays suicidal tendencies, follow district procedures immediately and contact the Trevor Lifeline*
Be a Safe Space
It is OK to let a student know that you’re still learning and that you may even use words that may be inappropriate to them, but your intentions are to support, assist them and be their safe space.
Immediate Resources for Students and Parents
The TREVOR PROJECT: Crisis Counseling specifically to LGBTQ young people to reduce their risk of becoming suicidal. The Project also educates those who interact with young people on LGBTQ suicide prevention and response.
TREVOR LIFELINE*: 866-488-7386
TREVOR CHAT: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now
PFLAG: Nationwide organization that unites the LGBTQ community with family, friends and allies to support, educate, and advocate on behalf of LGBTQ people. It is a highly supportive environment for parents who may be struggling with a child who is questioning or out.
PFLAG local chapter website: http://www.lbpflag.org/south-orange-county.html
Immediate contact phone: 949-677-7840 Outreach email: [email protected]
Links to popular booklets: Faith in Our Families, Be Yourself, Our Children, Our Trans Loved Ones & Guide to Being a Trans Ally: http://www.lbpflag.org/resources.html
Asian Pacific Islander PFLAG Chapter: PFLAG Chapter located in the San Gabriel Valley, with language resources in Bengali, Cambodian, Chinese, Filipino (Tagalog, Ilocano,) Hmong, Hindi, Punjabi, Urdu, Indonesian, Japanese, Korean, Lao, Thai & Vietnamese. http://www.sangabrielvalleyapipflag.com/
LGBT CENTER OC: Comprehensive service organization promoting the healing, well-being and
empowerment of LGBTQ youth. Contact: 714-953-LGBT (5428) Website: www.lgbtcenteroc.org
Youth Programs:
Rainbow Youth (ages 13-18) and Young Adults (ages 17-22): Multiple social support and educational groups for LGBTQ questioning and allied youth and young adults.
Trans*Fusion: Weekly drop-in group for trans* and gender non-conforming youth. Ages 13-18.
Youth Empowered To Act (YETA): A coalition of LGBTQ questioning and allied youth leaders working to create safe, supportive, nondiscriminatory environments and positive social change. Ages 14-24.
Trans*services: Offered in a safe space, at reduced costs including legal services, name/gender change clinics, navigating insurance and case managers: http://www.lgbtcenteroc.org/programs/trans/
DE COLORES QUEER ORANGE COUNTY: Organization for Spanish speaking LGBTQ people and their families, providing support and advocacy. Contact: 714.209.3397
Email: [email protected] Website: http://www.decoloresqueeroc.org/
Avoid Offensive Language!
Most people understand what language is derogatory (“that’s so gay” and hate speech,) but people sometimes use words, often without intent, that may be extremely offensive to LGBTQ persons. Below are examples of offensive (red) language and words that can be used to replace them (green):
OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE: USE THIS LANGUAGE INSTEAD:
Homosexual Gay or Lesbian
Homosexual Relationship Relationship or Couple
Sexual Preference Sexual Orientation
Gay Lifestyle / Homosexual Lifestyle Lesbian or Gay
Admitted Homosexual Openly Gay or Openly Lesbian
Special Rights Equal Rights or Equal Protection
Transgenders or Transgendered Transgender
Transgenderism Being Transgender
Sex Change or Pre-Operative Transition
Biologically Male/Female Assigned Male at Birth or Assigned Female at Birth
LGBTQ Terminology
Bisexual: An individual who is emotionally, romantically, and/or physically attracted to men and women. Sometimes stated as “bi.” People who are bisexual need not have had equal sexual experience with both men and women and, in fact, need not have had any sexual experience at all; it is the attraction that helps determine orientation.
Cisgender: A term used to describe an individual whose gender identity aligns with the one typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth.
Gay: The adjective used to describe people whose emotional, romantic, and/or physical attraction is to people of the same sex. In contemporary contexts, “lesbian” is often a preferred term for women. People who are gay need not have had any sexual experience; it is the attraction that helps determine orientation.
Gender expression & fluidity: The manner in which a person chooses to communicate their gender identity to others through external means such as clothing and/or mannerisms. Gender fluid people don’t feel confined by restrictive boundaries of stereotypical expectations of girls or boys.
Gender identity: One’s deeply held personal, internal sense of being male, female, some of both, or neither. Gender identity does not always correspond to biological sex (i.e., a person assigned female at birth identifies as male or a person assigned male at birth identifies as female).
Gender nonconforming / Gender queer: A person who views their gender identity as one of many possible genders beyond strictly female or male. Other terms for gender nonconforming or gender queer include “gender creative,” “gender variant,” “gender fluid”, “gender neutral,” “bi-gendered,” “androgynous,” or “gender diverse.” Such people feel that they exist psychologically between genders, as on a spectrum, or beyond the notion of the male and female binary paradigm.
GSM: Gender and Sexual minorities. An umbrella term that is intended to cover the LGBTQIA community.
Homophobia: An aversion to lesbian or gay people that often manifests in the form of prejudice and bias. Similarly, “biphobia” is an aversion to bisexuality and people who are bisexual, and “transphobia” is an aversion to people who are transgender. Collectively, these attitudes are referred to as “anti- LGBTQ bias.”
Lesbian: A woman whose emotional, romantic, and/or physical attraction is to other women. People who are lesbians need not have had any sexual experience; it is the attraction that helps determine orientation.
LGBTQIA: A shorthand description of sexual orientations and gender identities/expressions typically included when discussing lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning or queer issues, Intersex and Allies.
Out: Describes people who openly self-identify as LGBTQ in their public lives.
Queer: Used by some people, particularly youth, to describe themselves and/or their community. Due to its varying meanings, this word should only be used when self-identifying or quoting someone who self-identifies as queer. (i.e. “My cousin self-identifies as genderqueer.”)
Questioning: Those who are in a process of discovery and exploration about their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, or a combination thereof.
Sexual orientation: Emotional, romantic, or sexual feelings toward other people. People who are gay or lesbian experience these feelings primarily for people of the same sex, people who are bisexual experience these feelings for people of both sexes, and people who are asexual experience no sexual attraction at all.
Transgender: The state of a person’s gender identity which does not necessarily match their assigned sex at birth. Other terms commonly used are “female to male” (FTM), “male to female” (MTF), and “genderqueer.” Transgender people may or may not decide to alter their bodies hormonally and/or surgically to match their gender identity (also referred to as “transsexual.”)
Transition: The process one goes through to discover and/or affirm their gender identity. This can, but does not always, include taking hormones, having surgeries, or going through therapy.
The PFLAG website (www.lbpflag.org) has a more comprehensive & downloadable list of terminology.
PFLAG realizes its vision through support for families, allies, and people who are LGBTQ;
education for ourselves and others about the unique issues and challenges facing people who are LGBTQ and advocacy in our communities to change attitudes and to create policies and laws that achieve full equality for people who are LGBTQ.
IMPORTANT: If a student mentions suicide or displays suicidal tendencies, follow district procedures immediately and contact the Trevor Lifeline*
Be a Safe Space
It is OK to let a student know that you’re still learning and that you may even use words that may be inappropriate to them, but your intentions are to support, assist them and be their safe space.
- If you do not feel you are the best person to assist the student with LGBTQ issues, let them know the school has a person who is knowledgeable and will be able to help them, and then PERSONALLY WALK the student to connect with this individual to make a personal introduction. Do not send the student away; they may only have had the courage to approach one adult. Please understand they are trusting YOU to be that person.
- Do not assume to know the student’s gender identity or sexual orientation.
- Try to use appropriate language. See “Avoid Offensive Language” on the back. Know what terms to use & avoid.
- Do not “out” the student to anyone. Assure them your conversations are confidential.
Immediate Resources for Students and Parents
The TREVOR PROJECT: Crisis Counseling specifically to LGBTQ young people to reduce their risk of becoming suicidal. The Project also educates those who interact with young people on LGBTQ suicide prevention and response.
TREVOR LIFELINE*: 866-488-7386
TREVOR CHAT: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now
PFLAG: Nationwide organization that unites the LGBTQ community with family, friends and allies to support, educate, and advocate on behalf of LGBTQ people. It is a highly supportive environment for parents who may be struggling with a child who is questioning or out.
PFLAG local chapter website: http://www.lbpflag.org/south-orange-county.html
Immediate contact phone: 949-677-7840 Outreach email: [email protected]
Links to popular booklets: Faith in Our Families, Be Yourself, Our Children, Our Trans Loved Ones & Guide to Being a Trans Ally: http://www.lbpflag.org/resources.html
Asian Pacific Islander PFLAG Chapter: PFLAG Chapter located in the San Gabriel Valley, with language resources in Bengali, Cambodian, Chinese, Filipino (Tagalog, Ilocano,) Hmong, Hindi, Punjabi, Urdu, Indonesian, Japanese, Korean, Lao, Thai & Vietnamese. http://www.sangabrielvalleyapipflag.com/
LGBT CENTER OC: Comprehensive service organization promoting the healing, well-being and
empowerment of LGBTQ youth. Contact: 714-953-LGBT (5428) Website: www.lgbtcenteroc.org
Youth Programs:
Rainbow Youth (ages 13-18) and Young Adults (ages 17-22): Multiple social support and educational groups for LGBTQ questioning and allied youth and young adults.
Trans*Fusion: Weekly drop-in group for trans* and gender non-conforming youth. Ages 13-18.
Youth Empowered To Act (YETA): A coalition of LGBTQ questioning and allied youth leaders working to create safe, supportive, nondiscriminatory environments and positive social change. Ages 14-24.
Trans*services: Offered in a safe space, at reduced costs including legal services, name/gender change clinics, navigating insurance and case managers: http://www.lgbtcenteroc.org/programs/trans/
DE COLORES QUEER ORANGE COUNTY: Organization for Spanish speaking LGBTQ people and their families, providing support and advocacy. Contact: 714.209.3397
Email: [email protected] Website: http://www.decoloresqueeroc.org/
Avoid Offensive Language!
Most people understand what language is derogatory (“that’s so gay” and hate speech,) but people sometimes use words, often without intent, that may be extremely offensive to LGBTQ persons. Below are examples of offensive (red) language and words that can be used to replace them (green):
OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE: USE THIS LANGUAGE INSTEAD:
Homosexual Gay or Lesbian
Homosexual Relationship Relationship or Couple
Sexual Preference Sexual Orientation
Gay Lifestyle / Homosexual Lifestyle Lesbian or Gay
Admitted Homosexual Openly Gay or Openly Lesbian
Special Rights Equal Rights or Equal Protection
Transgenders or Transgendered Transgender
Transgenderism Being Transgender
Sex Change or Pre-Operative Transition
Biologically Male/Female Assigned Male at Birth or Assigned Female at Birth
LGBTQ Terminology
Bisexual: An individual who is emotionally, romantically, and/or physically attracted to men and women. Sometimes stated as “bi.” People who are bisexual need not have had equal sexual experience with both men and women and, in fact, need not have had any sexual experience at all; it is the attraction that helps determine orientation.
Cisgender: A term used to describe an individual whose gender identity aligns with the one typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth.
Gay: The adjective used to describe people whose emotional, romantic, and/or physical attraction is to people of the same sex. In contemporary contexts, “lesbian” is often a preferred term for women. People who are gay need not have had any sexual experience; it is the attraction that helps determine orientation.
Gender expression & fluidity: The manner in which a person chooses to communicate their gender identity to others through external means such as clothing and/or mannerisms. Gender fluid people don’t feel confined by restrictive boundaries of stereotypical expectations of girls or boys.
Gender identity: One’s deeply held personal, internal sense of being male, female, some of both, or neither. Gender identity does not always correspond to biological sex (i.e., a person assigned female at birth identifies as male or a person assigned male at birth identifies as female).
Gender nonconforming / Gender queer: A person who views their gender identity as one of many possible genders beyond strictly female or male. Other terms for gender nonconforming or gender queer include “gender creative,” “gender variant,” “gender fluid”, “gender neutral,” “bi-gendered,” “androgynous,” or “gender diverse.” Such people feel that they exist psychologically between genders, as on a spectrum, or beyond the notion of the male and female binary paradigm.
GSM: Gender and Sexual minorities. An umbrella term that is intended to cover the LGBTQIA community.
Homophobia: An aversion to lesbian or gay people that often manifests in the form of prejudice and bias. Similarly, “biphobia” is an aversion to bisexuality and people who are bisexual, and “transphobia” is an aversion to people who are transgender. Collectively, these attitudes are referred to as “anti- LGBTQ bias.”
Lesbian: A woman whose emotional, romantic, and/or physical attraction is to other women. People who are lesbians need not have had any sexual experience; it is the attraction that helps determine orientation.
LGBTQIA: A shorthand description of sexual orientations and gender identities/expressions typically included when discussing lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning or queer issues, Intersex and Allies.
Out: Describes people who openly self-identify as LGBTQ in their public lives.
Queer: Used by some people, particularly youth, to describe themselves and/or their community. Due to its varying meanings, this word should only be used when self-identifying or quoting someone who self-identifies as queer. (i.e. “My cousin self-identifies as genderqueer.”)
Questioning: Those who are in a process of discovery and exploration about their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, or a combination thereof.
Sexual orientation: Emotional, romantic, or sexual feelings toward other people. People who are gay or lesbian experience these feelings primarily for people of the same sex, people who are bisexual experience these feelings for people of both sexes, and people who are asexual experience no sexual attraction at all.
Transgender: The state of a person’s gender identity which does not necessarily match their assigned sex at birth. Other terms commonly used are “female to male” (FTM), “male to female” (MTF), and “genderqueer.” Transgender people may or may not decide to alter their bodies hormonally and/or surgically to match their gender identity (also referred to as “transsexual.”)
Transition: The process one goes through to discover and/or affirm their gender identity. This can, but does not always, include taking hormones, having surgeries, or going through therapy.
The PFLAG website (www.lbpflag.org) has a more comprehensive & downloadable list of terminology.